Another question from a young seminarian

Here is another question from a young seminarian, whose questions I am answering in this blog.

YS: I seem to have a couple different possible opportunities and directions for my future. I am eager to pick one and go in that direction, but it is a tough decision. I hate this ambiguity. I just want to move forward. How do I know what to choose?

Mike: Ah yes, opportunity. You have so much possibility ahead of you. And you have so much energy. I can understand an eagerness to get a direction. You are visionary, passionate and motivated--all very good characteristics.

Yet that same vision, passion and motivation can cause you to get into a hurry and miss the turn God has for you. In a rush you may end up like a car that is speeding so fast down the road that it misses the important exit for the true route to its destination and as a result ends up in a very bad place. I have heard: “A student in a hurry, learns slowly.” I have found that when I get in a rush, I miss nuances that are important.

Bobby Clinton claims that in the first half of adult life what is most important is what God is doing in you. He is using that time and circumstances to prepare you for what He will do through you especially in the second half of adulthood. That is a hard concept to accept--that when you are between 20 and 40 anything you are involved in is for the purpose of God developing you, even when you think you are doing some great thing. So go slow enough for God’s signs to catch your eye and for you to make that turn that gives you some big growth. These opportunities are really about your growth any-way.

At one time, I believe I was in my mid 30s I felt like I was waiting. Some opportunities crossed my path. If I did not jump, the window of opportunity would soon close. My spiritual director gave me some advice that was hard to hear, but that I needed to hear. Her advice was to keep saying “no” until you hear a clear “yes” from God. It is hard to wait, but I think that is very good advice.

So live in the gray area and hold both opportunities in your hand as loosely as you can, as long as you can, until you hear a clear “yes” from God for one or the other. If you do not hear a clear “yes” from God for either, then maybe He has a third option and you will need to say “no” to both.

"Questions from a Young Seminarian" #1

I am answering questions from a young seminarian.

YS: I have such a hard time with daydreaming and my mind not wandering. I have so many ideas and so many questions. I am often present with my wife and infant son and yet not present—my mind is elsewhere. How can one possibly keep their mind in the moment?

Mike: What you are describing is a common malady of people who are visionary and spend major parts of their day considering and synthesizing ideas. I have struggled with this myself. Dinner together is an important value for our family. Often when all four of us are around the table, my wife asks me, “where are you?”

I remember when I was in my late 20s, planting a church and raising toddlers. I can distinctly remember pushing my kids in a swing at a park, while my mind was figuring out what direction to move with a ministry item and even wishing I could be on the phone making that call (that was pre cell-phones ). Pretty sad, isn’t it? Part of it was then I was filled with so much idealism and the world felt like I was flying by—I wanted to make my mark before too much time had gone by. You are not alone.

But that is not something to simply accept. In July I was at a retreat where I read about the discipline of “mindfulness” or “being in the present” and especially while on a long hike on vacation after that, I was again impressed by this. During that 6 hour hike alone, I determined to keep my mind in the moment, on the trees and rocks and flowers along the trail. I failed often and after realizing that I was in my mind fixing some possible fall issue in ministry pulled myself back to the moment.

When I would hike/walk with my wife in my early 20s she impressed upon me how set I was on the destination of the hike, that I failed to appreciate the beauty along the way. I have gotten a little better at appreciating the beauty in the moment while walking or hiking but have a long way to go in staying in the moment.

I expect an issue of spiritual formation for you will be to do something to keep your mind in the present more often. What I have begun doing is at the beginning of each day, turning this matter over to God, admitting that I cannot by will power keep my mind in the moment and asking Him to keep my mind in the present more that day. So far I have a long way to improve. Possibly that practice will work for you, possibly some other action will help you exercise “mindfulness.”

You are twenty years ahead of me in considering this issue. Keep growing in it!