Since Jim's passing, Lois has been continuing to write excellent reflections on this journey along with breath prayers. She has consented to allow us to share some with you. Lois is also the core author of one of our newest workbooks: Your Pathways: Strong Connection with God.
Breath Prayer: RESTORE
Lois Hoogeveen
July 22, 2012
I had a dream. I was a little girl walking through the
pasture on the farm where I grew up. The ground was dry and cracked, much like
fields may look today after weeks of temperatures in the high 90’s and even
more weeks without significant moisture. I was trying, with my short legs, to
keep up with the farmer who was in front of me. I was hot, tired and falling
behind. The distance between us was increasing, and I was afraid that I would
lose sight of him and be left all alone in the field. Not totally alone,
because there were cattle in the field, which added to my anxiety. I was
terrified by these big animals. Anxiety of never returning to the safety of my
family who lives in the big farmhouse engulfed me.
My pounding heart suddenly quieted as the scene in my dream
changed. In a matter of seconds, I was no longer a little girl following the
farmer but a little girl being carried by this strong, yet tender, man. The
fields were no longer covered with brown, crusty stubble but gloriously arrayed
with wildflowers of many different colors. Later, in my dream, I was no longer
being carried but walking on my own, following closely and never losing sight
of the one who carried me.
The details of this vivid dream, which I had over twenty
years ago, have become very clear to me once again. No longer driven by the
demands of the tyranny-of-the-urgent that I had to deal with these past few
months, my days now are more quiet. I am tired. I rest. I read. I reflect. I
remember. At times I feel like the little girl walking through the pasture just
east of our farmhouse. My world feels parched and withered. I feel some anxiety
about the known and unknown realities of living alone, of the monsters of grief
and change that now share my space. I wonder if I will ever again find
the safe place where I once lived.
However, my thoughts cannot stay at these places of sadness,
fear, isolation and uncertainty. The second scene of this dream gives me a
different message. My Shepherd picks me up and carries me, and there is color in
my world. The wind gently blows and the Shepherd whispers words of love and
peace in my ear. We stop, sit in the soft field of wildflowers and drink from
the canteen of Living Water, quenching my thirst. For the moment, I am RESTORED.
Extreme heat and lack of rain result in barren land. What
heat and drought are you experiencing in your life? Are you walking alone,
closely following the Shepherd or are is the Shepherd carrying you?
Right now I need the Shepherd to carry me close to His
heart. I trust that the day will come when I am strong enough to again walk by
His side, hand-in-hand, always close, always safe.
He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close
to his heart. Isaiah 40:11
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall lack nothing. He makes
me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my
soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I
walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you
are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:1-4
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