Walking the Journey of Grief--one breath prayer at a time #14

Breath Prayer: UNDERSTAND

Lois Hoogeveen*

September 30, 2012

Why? As a child you may have asked your parent Why? and Why not?  You may have even said, It’s not fair. As a parent you most likely heard your children ask these same questions. It is sometimes difficult for children to understand their parents’ choices, values, beliefs and expectations.  Fairness can be a big issue with children. A child who has learned to respect and trust his parent obeys, even when they don’t understand why.

Our parent-child relationships give us a glimpse of our relationship with our Heavenly Father. We may find ourselves asking Him the same questions: Why? Why not? and saying I don’t understand. This isn’t fair.

My husband never asked Why when he was diagnosed or before he died. Initially, neither did I. But in the months following his death I have asked Why? Why did God choose to take my husband to heaven when he could have continued to minister for many more years to people on earth, telling them about Jesus? Why did He not take me to heaven first? After all, my husband would have been better at doing life alone than I am. Why did He allow so many people be fatally exposed to asbestos? My why questions seem to increase as time goes on.

Your why questions might be different than mine. Why doesn’t God answer my many prayers for my child’s health? Why did God allow my child to get in the wrong group? Why doesn’t God change my child’s heart? Why doesn’t God change my spouse? Why do I or my spouse suffer with so many health issues? Why doesn’t God heal this broken relationship in my life? Why did God not send more rain and less heat this summer? Why did God call us move to a new place, leaving friends and family behind? Why do I struggle with finances when I work so hard and am being a good steward of what I have? Why doesn’t God help me get a better job?

“You do not have to understand all God’s ways with you. God does not expect you to understand them. You do not expect your child to understand, only believe. Some day you will see the glory of God in the things which you do not understand.” (Streams in the Desert, L.B. Coleman p. 281) I can look back and see how God directed and protected me in different circumstances. A prime example is having a much more comfortable place to live than I would have had if our offer had been accepted on the place we first thought would be my home. It was disappointing at the time and it felt like we had not been treated fairly by the real estate system. But we were wrong. God had a far better plan and I am so thankful today for His intervention in this detail of my life.

God’s ways are not always easy to understand. But I believe His promises. He promises to be my shield, to guard and to protect me. He promises to give me wisdom, knowledge and discretion. This insight will help me grow in awareness of His Presence as well as embed within me confidence, trust and thankfulness that He is in control of every detail of my life.

UNDERSTAND  If you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:3-5 He is a shield, He guards and protects. (Proverbs 2:7-8)

* One of our authors, Lois Hoogeveen, lost her husband in early March to a battle with cancer, which began just 3 months earlier. Jim and Lois had pastored 5 churches, 2 they planted. At the time they were hit with this disease they were transitioning into specialized transitional ministry for the next season of their full time ministry. They were and are good friends of Ascending Leaders. Through the journey with cancer, Jim and Lois wrote and shared their "breath prayers," each day. "Breath Praying" is something they had first learned seven years ago from the Ascending Leaders Christ Habits book Prayer: Listening to God's Voice.

Since Jim's passing, Lois has been continuing to write excellent reflections on this journey along with breath prayers. She has consented to allow us to share some with you. Lois is also the core author of one of our newest workbooks:  Your Pathways: Strong Connection with God.