Breath Prayer through the Journey of Grief #11

Breath Prayer: KNOW*

Lois Hoogeveen

September 8, 2012

What do you know? may be a casual question asked in a conversation between two people. What do you know! may be an expression of surprise. What do you know? may be a challenging question in a serious conversation.

If someone asked me What do you know? this week my answer could be quite different from one hour to the next. My thoughts and emotions soared to heights of peace and celebration and plunged to depths of anguish and desolation throughout the week. I know that my mother and my husband are home with the Lord, and rejoicing to be in His Presence. I know that one day I too will be safe in the arms of Jesus. But in the loving conversations with my children, whom I saw for the first time since their father’s funeral, I found myself grieving the long-term impact of being alone. I know I need to face and accept the reality of what my life is. I do not have a husband to come home to after a 4-day vigil in the hospital beside my dying mother. I do not have a husband to hold my hand as I say my final good-byes to her. I also know I am not the only one who is living with tough stuff. Many people have other painful situations they are dealing with in life. I know that God does not want me to waddle in my grief. I know I need to channel my thoughts and actions in ways that honor God and help me move forward. Knowing is one thing. Acting on what you know is harder.

What do you know? is an important question at the end of life. On New Year’s Day my husband posted this on his caring bridge:

A year ago I preached on one of my favorite passages, Colossians 2:2: My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ.

Throughout my life and ministry my purpose was, and continues to be, to enrich people's lives by helping them know Jesus Christ and challenging them to grow in their relationship with Him. I know he loves me and will daily provide what is needed. That does not remove all the nasty things that go along with cancer; nor does it take away all the feelings of fear and sadness. But I do know Jesus will be with us and help us every day.

I love the song Knowing You, Jesus by Graham Kendrick. It focuses in a powerful way on the importance of knowing Jesus. Here are just a few of the lyrics.

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You, There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best, You're my joy, my righteousness,
And I love You Lord.

We ask you to join our breath prayer to KNOW JESUS and enrich the lives of others around you by helping them know Jesus and grow in their relationship with Him in 2012.

This week we celebrated my mother’s life. One of the verses she asked to have read at her funeral was 2 Timothy 1:12: I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.

I have been blessed to have two parents and a spouse who knew what they valued, who had strong faith and who were convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39)

This theme resounded in both my husband’s and my mother’s funeral services: Do you know Jesus? The pastor leading my mother’s service said it so well, “You are either in Christ or you are not.” Knowing Jesus is the only source of strength for today and hope for tomorrow. Do you know Jesus? Is God calling you to help someone else know Him as Savior and Lord?

KNOW This is what the Lord says: “Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24

* One of our authors, Lois Hoogeveen, lost her husband in early March to a battle with cancer, which began just 3 months earlier. Jim and Lois had pastored 5 churches, 2 they planted. At the time they were hit with this disease they were transitioning into specialized transitional ministry for the next season of their full time ministry. They were and are good friends of Ascending Leaders. Through the journey with cancer, Jim and Lois wrote and shared their "breath prayers," each day. "Breath Praying" is something they had first learned seven years ago from the Ascending Leaders Christ Habits book Prayer: Listening to God's Voice.

Since Jim's passing, Lois has been continuing to write excellent reflections on this journey along with breath prayers. She has consented to allow us to share some with you. Lois is also the core author of one of our newest workbooks:  Your Pathways: Strong Connection with God.