Walking the Journey of Grief--One Breath Prayer at a Time #18

Breath Prayer: LOOK

Lois Hoogeveen

December 30, 2012

“Look at that!” was a recurrent exclamation by either my husband or I as we ascended mountain roads, walked on sandy beaches and beheld a sunrise or a sunset. Especially sunrises and sunsets. We often summoned each other to the east-facing window or west-facing deck on our home so we could gaze together at a dazzling sunrise or radiant sunset. My husband also beckoned me outside on many occasions to join him in gazing at a storm-clouded sky, luminous stars or a full moon gracing the dark firmament.  These moments are etched in my mind as cherished memories of standing together in awe of the Artist who created these scenes of natural, indescribable beauty.

God gave us a memorable sunrise and sunset occurrence in the last year of my husband’s life. The first happened the morning we were leaving the lake after our annual week of camping with our dear friends. Shortly before we drove away from what, unknown to us, would be our last time together at this lake, we stood, hand in hand, mesmerized by a breathtaking sunrise over the lake. It was the most glorious sunrise I have ever seen. Fast forward five months, driving home after Jim said his earthly good-byes to his father, the Lord graced us with a phenomenal sunset for 45 minutes of our trip home. Both of these were “Look at that!” experiences.

Brilliant sunrises and sunsets remind me of the Sovereign Lord who created life, who ordains the beginning and end of life and all that lies between the sunrises and sunsets of our days on earth. A brilliant sunrise erupts into the light of day. A breath-taking sunset is swallowed by the darkness of night. Life with someone we love is an experience that is bookended with sunrises and sunsets. At some point in life we all release someone we love, a parent, a spouse, a child, a sibling, a friend, into the glory of the heavens. What is left is memories of some phenomenal sunrises and some breath-taking sunsets with a lot of ordinary days that now hold extraordinary value. Sunrises and sunsets now remind me of my husband and make me celebrate that he is in heaven, a place that is more glorious than the most magnificent sunrise or sunset, the most rugged snow-capped mountain, the clearest lake, the fullest moon and brightest stars our eyes ever beheld.

Between the sunrises and sunsets of this past year I have experienced the turbulence of storms. It has been a “Look at that!” year in many ways. Both grief and the ending of a calendar year tend to make one look in the rearview mirror of life.  As this year ends, my rearview mirror reflects loss, grief, sadness, aloneness, change, fear. But that is only part of what is behind me. I also see love, grace, mercy, peace. All these feelings and emotions are blended together much like the colors in a spectacular sunrise or sunset. Living life is like driving a vehicle. We must focus on what is ahead and around us with only short glances in the rearview mirror, using what is behind to give perspective that influences our moving forward.

It is important to pause and marvel at a year’s “Look at that!” God-sightings. Making a list of all these “aha moments and experiences” is a valuable end-of-the year exercise.  As I look back over this past year, I know without a doubt that the Creator of sunrises and sunsets, of mountains and valleys, of clear skies and stormy clouds, of lakes and dry land, the Author of life and death, the Giver of blessings in the midst of sorrow, was the One Who was taking care of me, His beloved daughter.  My rearview mirror reflects God’s presence and blessing in the times of storm and the Body of Christ ministering to me in a myriad of ways. It sharpens my perspective that life on earth with its joys and sorrows is temporary. In my rearview mirror I see Jesus on the cross. I pause to say “Look at that!”  and then receive renewed power to move forward, knowing that  Jesus is now sitting at the right hand of God, giving me courage and strength for today as well as hope for eternity.

LOOK  Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Psalm 105:4

  

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18

* One of our authors, Lois Hoogeveen, lost her husband in early March to a battle with cancer, which began just 3 months earlier. Jim and Lois had pastored 5 churches, 2 they planted. At the time they were hit with this disease they were transitioning into specialized transitional ministry for the next season of their full time ministry. They were and are good friends of Ascending Leaders. Through the journey with cancer, Jim and Lois wrote and shared their "breath prayers," each day. "Breath Praying" is something they had first learned seven years ago from the Ascending Leaders Christ Habits book Prayer: Listening to God's Voice.


Since Jim's passing, Lois has been continuing to write excellent reflections on this journey along with breath prayers. She has consented to allow us to share some with you. Lois is also the core author of two of our newest workbooks: Since Jim's passing, Lois has been continuing to write excellent reflections on this journey along with breath prayers. She has consented to allow us to share some with you. Lois is also the core author of two of our newest workbooks:  Your Pathways: Strong Connection with God and Thriving: Stewarding Unexpected Change